The Art of Shaking Back: Strategies for Reclaiming Confidence in Male-Dominated Spaces

by Jacqueline V. Twillie, best-selling author and leadership strategist, has empowered over 10K professionals from Fortune 500 companies like AT&T and Google to lead boldly in challenging industries.
Let’s face it: navigating the workplace as an underrepresented leader isn’t just about getting the job done—it’s about surviving and thriving in spaces that often weren’t designed with us in mind. Whether it’s being interrupted in meetings, experiencing microaggressions, or having your ideas dismissed only to see them repackaged later, these challenges can take a toll on your confidence.
I’ve been there. I vividly remember a moment early in my career when a colleague aggressively grabbed the phone from me while I was mid-conversation with a client, putting the call on speaker and completely sidelining me in the discussion.
In that moment, I felt powerless, humiliated, and unsure of how to regain my footing. It shook me to my core, but that experience also planted a seed. I knew I had to reclaim my confidence—not just for myself, but for the many women and underrepresented professionals who face similar challenges.
Over time, I developed what I call the shake back strategy. It’s about reclaiming your narrative, standing firm in your value, and refusing to shrink. Let’s dive into three key steps that helped me—and can help you—turn adversity into a launchpad for growth.
Remember Your Receipts
When someone questions your expertise or dismisses your contributions, it’s easy to internalize their doubt. But let me tell you something: your value doesn’t disappear because someone else doesn’t see it.
After that humbling experience with my colleague, I started documenting my wins—a Personal Achievement Portfolio. This became my go-to resource to remind myself of the projects I’d led, the revenue I’d driven, and the clients I’d impressed. Having those receipts not only rebuilt my confidence but also gave me the leverage I needed to advocate for myself in higher-stakes conversations.
When those moments of doubt creep in, pull out your portfolio and remind yourself: I’ve got the receipts to back this up.
Speak in Power Phrases
Language is power, and sometimes the difference between being overlooked and being heard is how you advocate for yourself. Power phrases are your verbal armor for navigating tough moments.
When I was starting out, I realized that even when I knew my stuff, I wasn’t communicating it confidently. I worked on phrases like:
- “Based on my expertise, I recommend…”
- “Here’s the data to support this decision.”
- “I’m confident in my ability to handle this.”
I practiced these phrases until they became second nature. They helped me reclaim the room and assert my expertise with professionalism and poise.
Reframe the Narrative
That colleague’s power move could have easily left me stuck in self-doubt. But instead, I chose to reframe the situation. Rather than asking, “Why did this happen to me?” I started asking, “What can I learn from this?”
I realized that while I couldn’t control other people’s behavior, I could control how I responded. I started practicing proactive communication and self-advocacy in meetings. If I shared an idea, I’d follow up with an email to ensure my contributions were clear. This shift in mindset was transformative—it taught me to focus on what I could control and use challenges as stepping stones for growth.
You’ve Got This
Shaking back is more than just bouncing back—it’s a declaration that you will not let the challenges define you. It’s about remembering your worth, speaking your value, and reframing the narrative so that it works for you, not against you.
Every time you shake back, you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving. And in spaces where your presence is an act of resilience, that’s the ultimate power move. So keep shaking back, dear leader. You’re stronger and more capable than you know—and the world needs what only you can bring.
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Ready to shake things up?
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What is BossmakeHer?
BossmakeHer is the exclusive destination for accomplished women leaders ready to reclaim control of their careers and step into roles that reflect their true value and purpose.
Through our proven methodology, award-winning expert coaching, and a supportive community of like-minded women, we empower leaders to make intentional, life-transforming power moves.
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