The Kiss Cam Wasn’t the Scandal. The Gender Bias Was.
by Tracy Saunders
The “Kiss Cam” Heard Around the Internet
A few weeks ago, Astronomer’s ex-CEO Andy Byron was caught on the kiss cam at a Coldplay concert, not with his wife, but in a visibly intimate moment with Kristin Cabot, his company’s Chief People Officer.
The video went viral. Chris Martin joked on stage. Internet sleuths identified them within hours. And everyone had an opinion.
Some people laughed. Some called it a scandal. However, for many of us, especially women in leadership, it felt like déjà vu. A powerful man crosses a line, and the woman gets publicly shredded.
Let’s Be Clear: Both Are Responsible. But the Blame Isn’t Equal.
Andy Byron was the CEO. He held the top seat of power. He should have known better and done better.
Kristin Cabot, as CPO, also had a responsibility. But let’s not pretend the power dynamics were equal.
And yet… the narrative? She “slept her way to the top.” She’s a homewrecker. She’s a secretary.
(Yes, someone actually said that. More on that in a sec.)
Suddenly, her entire career, hers, not his, was reframed by a gendered bias about sex. The assumption wasn’t that he abused power. It was that she manipulated her way up. It was about her body, her ambition, and the belief that women trade sex for success even if they’ve earned it on merit.
And this is part of the pattern.
According to a 2022 study published by Harvard Business Review, when women leaders make mistakes, they are more likely to be seen as incompetent, while men are more often given the benefit of the doubt or framed as bold risk-takers.
That kind of bias shows up instantly in scandals like this, where the woman’s career is put under a microscope while the man’s is viewed through a lens of regret.
That’s not accountability. That’s misogyny dressed up as corporate ethics.
And the hypocrisy is glaring.
According to a 2023 study by SHRM, while 77 percent of employees say it’s inappropriate for a senior leader to be romantically involved with someone who reports to them, only 33 percent believe men in those situations actually face consequences.
Women, on the other hand, often become the focus of blame, judgment, and gossip.
Luke Bryan’s Comment Said the Quiet Part Out Loud
The day after the scandal broke, country singer Luke Bryan shouted to the crowd at his concert,
“Who brought their secretary tonight? Don’t get caught!”
People laughed.
But that moment captured everything wrong with how women are viewed in these situations.
Kristin Cabot isn’t a secretary. She’s a C-suite executive. She was the Chief People Officer, the person responsible for culture, compliance, leadership integrity, and ethical standards.
And that’s exactly why people are coming for her so hard.
I get it. When you’re the head of HR, you’re supposed to be the moral compass of the company. People expect you to be the grown-up in the room. And when you fall short, especially as a woman, the punishment isn’t just personal. It’s symbolic.
It becomes proof that women can’t be trusted with power, or that they are no different than the bad actors they are supposed to hold accountable.
And that’s not just anecdotal.
According to Catalyst, 61 percent of women in executive roles have had their leadership questioned or credibility undermined due to gendered assumptions, particularly in moments of scrutiny or public fallout.
But again, let’s not ignore the power imbalance.
Her boss, the CEO, was the one in a greater position of authority. And yet she’s the one who gets reduced to a punchline on stage. She’s the one whose integrity gets dragged through the mud. She’s the one being painted as the exception that proves the rule, that women aren’t fit to lead.
This is the part people don’t get unless they’ve lived it.
Women in power are always walking a tightrope. We’re constantly being scrutinized for how we lead, how we dress, how we speak, and who we’re close to.
One misstep, one whisper of scandal, and suddenly we’re unqualified. Manipulative. Only there because of who we know or who we slept with.
It’s exhausting. And it’s infuriating.
Especially when the men involved, the ones with more power and more responsibility, walk away with a lighter share of the blame.
Why This Went Viral: It’s Bigger Than One Scandal
This isn’t just about one CEO and one executive getting caught on camera. It’s about what their story represents.
The reason this blew up is because it hit a nerve, especially for women who have had to navigate corporate systems built by men who believe the rules don’t apply to them.
Byron went out in public, to a packed concert, with a woman who wasn’t his wife, who also happened to report to him, and acted like no one would notice.
That’s not just arrogance. That’s entitlement. That’s what happens when people at the top think they’re untouchable.
And for so many women, that kind of leadership is all too familiar. We’ve worked under it. Tried to navigate it. Tried to clean up after it.
We’ve watched narcissistic men rise through the ranks while women get overlooked, dismissed, or torn down.
That’s why this moment feels personal.
For the Women Watching This and Feeling Sick
If you’ve ever been gaslit by a toxic boss
If you’ve ever been told to “watch how it looks” while men fraternize freely
If you’ve ever been accused of getting too far, too fast, for the wrong reasons
If your integrity has ever been questioned more than your male peers’
You’re not triggered because you’re too sensitive.
You’re triggered because you’ve spent years surviving a system that was never built to protect you, and likely never will.
One that rewards power, punishes women, and still calls it success.
Yes, this story is about accountability. But it’s also about how easily we turn on women, even powerful ones, while excusing or explaining away the behavior of men who have had the power all along.
This Is the Culture We’re Still Up Against
I don’t condone what Kristin Cabot did. I’m not making her a martyr.
But I’m also not going to let the narrative ignore the bigger picture.
She’s not being punished more publicly, but she is being punished more viciously.
Her entire career is being questioned.
The language used to describe her is degrading and outdated.
And the jokes, from the concert stage to the comments section, are a reminder that sexism isn’t subtle. It’s loud. It’s cruel. And it still gets applause.
I’ve been there myself.
I’ve worked with narcissistic, emotionally abusive leaders. I’ve been on the receiving end of inappropriate comments and degrading power plays.
I’ve felt what it’s like to question your sanity and safety in spaces that are supposed to be professional.
It’s not just frustrating. It’s dehumanizing. And it’s a big part of why I walked away from corporate life and started BossmakeHer.
So many women who join BossmakeHer have lived through the same thing. They’ve had enough of performing twice as hard for half the credit.
They’re done minimizing themselves to survive. They’re done enduring toxic leadership and calling it resilience.
According to McKinsey’s 2023 Women in the Workplace report, 43 percent of women leaders have considered leaving their roles because of toxic environments, unfair standards, and the emotional toll it takes just to stay.
This scandal didn’t surprise us. It confirmed what we’ve lived.
It’s not about one moment or one mistake. It’s about a system that still protects power, excuses men, and turns women into collateral damage.
What happened on that stage wasn’t new. It went viral because women saw themselves in it.
It ripped open what we’ve buried to keep going, reminded us how deep the double standards still run, and hit the part of us that’s bone-tired of ignoring it as if it’s normal.
And if you’re reading this and nodding? If you’re tired of staying small to stay employed?
You’re not alone, and you don’t have to keep playing by their rules.
At BossmakeHer, we help women stop surviving and start leading – on their terms. Whether you’re eyeing your next executive role or finally ready to walk away from toxic leadership, we’ve got the strategy, support, and community of peers and experts to help you make your power move.
About BossmakeHer
BossmakeHer is the leading job search authority for women leaders, providing strategic coaching, branding, and career support to help them navigate transitions and make life-changing moves, enabling them to reclaim their voice, value, and purpose at work.
